What does friendship mean to you?
How much is friendship worth to you?
Do you think that there are different kinds of friendship?
or
Do you think there are just different kinds of relationships?
There are really no clear answers to these questions, but answers only come from the person who is thinking about it. What does friendship really mean to you? Is it as simple as one can think as hanging out together and sharing joy and woes? A personal opinion on this is not as simple as one can say. Although i stand by my life philosophy as life being simple, but i also believe that there are things that cannot be translated into words. Friendship is a feeling of the heart deep inside within one. Most people make friends with the brains and the mouth, but what a real friend needs is your heart's participation a well. We always believed that only the most intimate relationships requires commitment from the heart, but thats not really true. An intimate relationship is just another kind of friendship at a deeper level.
Friendships are made from relationships and there are different levels of it in my personal opinion.
1. Acquaintance - 0%
2. Friend - 80%
3. Close Friend - 80%
4. Buddy - 80%
5. Intimate Buddy - 80%
6. Spouse - 90%
Some of those seems obvious enough, but some seems so distant away. Some description will definitely be useful. The percentage simply shows the amount of heart commitment that should be made available. Every relationship begins from being acquaintances, simply because these are people that you probably know, but yet not familiar with. They may be people whom you see at your work everyday, but do not really talk to. A friend is really self explainatory because these are people whom you get to see and go out with probably most of the time in a large group. A close friend is someone whom you often go out with and talk to. You will share things with them, but with some reservation. A buddy is already one of the higher levels of friendship being someone you almost always go out with, share almost everything with. You will almost never reject to help when he/she is in need. An intimate buddy is what people usually call "Boyfriends" or "Girlfriends". There is really no distinct line that separates this and buddies apart other than the fact that an intimate buddy usually involves people from the opposite gender who shares not only almost everything, but also very close physical presence. The last one is probably self explainatory.
Whatever the relationship, one must understand that once you make a person your friend, the amount of heart you have to put into it is no different from any other levels of friendship. When i say heart, it simply means everything of you, which may include things like attention and time. Both is as important to anyone in the world, but it is something you have to make use of wisely. In any case, a normal person will always allocate up to 90% of his/her free time to the intimate buddy and ultimately neglect the importance of friends. This has always been the problem and will always be there, but one has to reduce it as far as possible. Friends is the next important thing compared to your family when it comes to human relationships. Everyone needs attention, and it definitely not only applies to situations when someone has problems. Remember you are suppose to share joy and woes together? Does being around when your buddy is down enough?
If that is seriously whats running around in your puny little brain than you should seriously restructure your heart and life before all is lost. Your buddy and friends all need to spend quality time with you be it bitching about others, a normal shopping trip or even just a meal together. That does not mean you appearing only when your friends are down. If that is what you only do, then your friend will probably be better off without you around.
A friend is as important as any number of intimate buddie you may have. Be realistic, you will get loads of time with an intimate buddy after you get married. If a friend is neglected, all is lost for you. The relationship will never be the same again no matter how both of you assure each other verbally. It is just like a thick rope being pleated together through numerous hours of effort. The bond will be so strong that its hard to break no matter how hard you tug at it. Once the rope snaps, even the strongest glue cannot bring it back to its original state. A buddy will almost never betray you, but it may not be true for an intimate buddy due to loads of other factors. A final word of advise: "If you cannot share your time maintaining bonds, do not go around making bonds that you ultimately break". The hurt a person gets from a broken bond is excruciating.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentine's Day?
Is there any distinct differences between Valentine's Day and Non Valentine's Day?
Different kind of people will probably give you a different answer.
Romantic Man: "Of course, its the best time to give surprises for your hot date."
Economical Man: "Whats the difference? Its just a business opportunity for florists."
Dating Woman: "I'm hoping that i will receive something."
Married Woman: "I just bought flowers for him."
There is no difference if a man is married or not, but just a matter of whether he thinks its necessary/economical. To all men out there, whether you have been dating for 5 years or married for 1 year. It will always be a man's responsibility to pamper your other half. It is not about the value of the gift, but its a sincere heart that you put into getting the gift. The lady may eventually kick a fuss out of how cheap the gift is or how ridiculous looking it may be, but they are definitely full of delight.
The difference in the female answer is definitely an effect of prolonged expectation. Eventually they become so despair that they gave up any glimspe of hope that one day a deliveryman would knock on the door and say "Mdm, You've got a bouquet of flowers for you!" Once you get married, the gifts and flowers eventually dried up. The chance of striking lottery may probably be higher than that of you being on the receiving end of flowers from your husband.
Anyway, flowers or not is usually not the important point. I always agree with men who says that flowers is a waste of money. Is 12 stalks of roses really worth almost $100? Probably it will only cost you $20-$30 for the same 12 stalks in a market. Is the $200-$300 8 course romantic dinner really worth the money? So much for the fine dining part, but you'll only feel hungrier after the pathetic portion of dinner. All these commotion about being valentine's day is just a marketing scam where shrewd business people squeeze every drop of juice from your pocket, just to try convince the men that your partner will give you a good sex to reward your expenditure. If you think about it, probably the men will get a good sex from their female counterpart at a fraction of the cost. If you can just treat her better on a day to day basis, you will definitely save much more on this fateful day of the year.
Every little thing you do for her will make her feel special. These things may not even cost you a single cent. Giving her a morning call, making/buying her breakfast, sending her a good morning message may well be the simplest things to make her feel special everyday. Then comes the occasional shopping and dinner trips that you bring her to. Followed by the annual surprises that you give to her on Valentine's day, Anniversaries (Not the monthly kind) as well as her birthday. Out of the 365 days a year, these are definitely not too much to ask for after sticking with you through all the joys and sorrows.
Back to the point about Valentine's Day, its really not a special day because if you stick closely to the plan above, every moment the lady spent with you feels like Valentine's Day. It used to be a romantic day, but it seems more like a boasting day. It is the day where all female trainers out there reap their rewards for whipping their studs day in and day out to instill the gentledoggy mentality in them. The day where all women try to boast about how wonderful and romantic their male partners are. So where does the boasting rights come from? Obviously its the flowers and gifts because all the envious attention will be on the person who receives the most flowers and gifts.
So the conclusion for all men, do yourself and your partner a favour. The gifts can wait, but at least some flowers for the lady on such an important day. Their neck probably grew an inch longer just by trying to stare out of the door for a deliveryman. Not everything is about the economical value, but there are things that has to be done whether you like it or not. It feels just like a hero saving a damsel in distress. Stress from all the questions like "Hey gal, when are your flowers coming?"
Different kind of people will probably give you a different answer.
Romantic Man: "Of course, its the best time to give surprises for your hot date."
Economical Man: "Whats the difference? Its just a business opportunity for florists."
Dating Woman: "I'm hoping that i will receive something."
Married Woman: "I just bought flowers for him."
There is no difference if a man is married or not, but just a matter of whether he thinks its necessary/economical. To all men out there, whether you have been dating for 5 years or married for 1 year. It will always be a man's responsibility to pamper your other half. It is not about the value of the gift, but its a sincere heart that you put into getting the gift. The lady may eventually kick a fuss out of how cheap the gift is or how ridiculous looking it may be, but they are definitely full of delight.
The difference in the female answer is definitely an effect of prolonged expectation. Eventually they become so despair that they gave up any glimspe of hope that one day a deliveryman would knock on the door and say "Mdm, You've got a bouquet of flowers for you!" Once you get married, the gifts and flowers eventually dried up. The chance of striking lottery may probably be higher than that of you being on the receiving end of flowers from your husband.
Anyway, flowers or not is usually not the important point. I always agree with men who says that flowers is a waste of money. Is 12 stalks of roses really worth almost $100? Probably it will only cost you $20-$30 for the same 12 stalks in a market. Is the $200-$300 8 course romantic dinner really worth the money? So much for the fine dining part, but you'll only feel hungrier after the pathetic portion of dinner. All these commotion about being valentine's day is just a marketing scam where shrewd business people squeeze every drop of juice from your pocket, just to try convince the men that your partner will give you a good sex to reward your expenditure. If you think about it, probably the men will get a good sex from their female counterpart at a fraction of the cost. If you can just treat her better on a day to day basis, you will definitely save much more on this fateful day of the year.
Every little thing you do for her will make her feel special. These things may not even cost you a single cent. Giving her a morning call, making/buying her breakfast, sending her a good morning message may well be the simplest things to make her feel special everyday. Then comes the occasional shopping and dinner trips that you bring her to. Followed by the annual surprises that you give to her on Valentine's day, Anniversaries (Not the monthly kind) as well as her birthday. Out of the 365 days a year, these are definitely not too much to ask for after sticking with you through all the joys and sorrows.
Back to the point about Valentine's Day, its really not a special day because if you stick closely to the plan above, every moment the lady spent with you feels like Valentine's Day. It used to be a romantic day, but it seems more like a boasting day. It is the day where all female trainers out there reap their rewards for whipping their studs day in and day out to instill the gentledoggy mentality in them. The day where all women try to boast about how wonderful and romantic their male partners are. So where does the boasting rights come from? Obviously its the flowers and gifts because all the envious attention will be on the person who receives the most flowers and gifts.
So the conclusion for all men, do yourself and your partner a favour. The gifts can wait, but at least some flowers for the lady on such an important day. Their neck probably grew an inch longer just by trying to stare out of the door for a deliveryman. Not everything is about the economical value, but there are things that has to be done whether you like it or not. It feels just like a hero saving a damsel in distress. Stress from all the questions like "Hey gal, when are your flowers coming?"
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